Reducing Expat Isolation in Russia

                                            Years gone by bring an isolated feeling...

Surprising how getting older increases my sense of isolation... not just from the USA but also how I feel in Russia.  My grandma commented that after she left Scotland some of her relatives and friends there became emotionally distant.  People go on with their lives, now separate from anything about you... others die.

It’s too expensive to buy a home in the USA now.  I’m ready to visit again but I’ve been asked not to fly!   My cardiologist views me as fragile as an uncooked egg!

                                            Our last difficult trip to the USA kept us away for ten years...

Our visit last visit was a mixture of great travel, and bad situations.   While traveling in California I was caught in a legal maneuver in New Jersey.  The judges were switched by the opposing party, and the new one ruled I owed $27,000... done with no accounting, a case of local corruption.  When we arrived at Glacier Park, Montana, I had heart palpitation.  Locals drove us to the American Indian Clinic.  Not being Indian they could  only give me emergency care and send me back to our motel.  An Indian woman drove us to the hospital in Great Falls.  They didn’t keep me overnight because I had no medical insurance.  This was ironic as I made most of my income as a medical insurance salesman before, but New Jersey residency requirements prohibited my having medical insurance on our return visit. 

We decided to press on to a Duke reunion in Durham NC.  As an alumnus, I hoped they would be willing to stabilize me for the return trip to Russia, where I had health coverage as a permanent non-citizen spouse.  To our chagrin, even with Larissa’s yelling and pleading, they were chary about helping me, as, again, I had no health coverage (didn’t matter that I couldn’t).

Back in St Petersburg later when older and eligible for Medicare, I enrolled... but it’s only operative within the USA. Every month Social Security deducts a little over $100 to pay for Part B   I’m at the point where I may cancel Part B, but I hate to take this irrevocable step even though it’s unlikely I’ll ever return.

                                            Russian social culture and language both tough hurdles...

People in my neighborhood don’t wave, call out to people on the street, or make jokes with strangers.  People can be so undemonstrative that for me it’s difficult to spot whether people on buses are related or strangers. After all this time I should have gotten used to this reserve, but it makes me miss the States a lot. 

I’ve only been able to talk with people casually and often when we are in our summer village.  I’ve found a direct relationship between my ability to speak Russian and my social life with the people I see everyday, Russians.  I often go months without speaking English face to face with another native speaker. 

So I am motivated every morning to study my Russian.  Verbs, nouns, pronouns, adjectives, names all change constantly so it seems Russian is a language I will never master.  But I find when I know that my Russian is improving every day, I feel much better about living far from my natural environment!

 

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Learning Russian is a Bear! Part 2, with 10 more Yalki–palki !

 

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Chert in English... a  rock.  In Russian... the devil.

Language Dejection!

How do you view your life... winning or losing? ... in your career, your marriage, your health?   

When it has to do with learning Russian, recently I  felt a loser.  It’s an up-river swim, and I looked around and found myself swept to sea. 

One late Friday morning Larissa and I went to the Almozov Clinic for a MNO (warfarin level) test.  Nina Nicolievna, who does the blood draw, is skilled and friendly.  She asked if my wife was with me.  I tried to explain in Russian that she was in another office in the building making an appointment for a cardio-stimulator  checkup. 

Nina couldn’t understand what I said.  She berated me for not learning Russian better. This sudden criticism made me upset, and on reflection, angry!  Put on the defensive, I tried to explain why I didn’t know Russian better. 

It’s true, a nasty word or criticism has power.  No one is good at receiving criticism.  He may pretend to be, but I don’t believe it. 

I skipped my study of Russian for days..

Maybe both the negative criticism - and the praise - were valid!

Irena, the wife of an American fellow expat blogger, praised my Russian recently.  Genady, a marine programmer, also thought my Russian was good. 

Nina isn’t used to conversing with foreigners, while Irena and Genady are.   Also, I am usualy at my worse in the mornings, an owl by nature, what Russians call a сова... pronounced so-va.  A morning person is called a жаворонок... ja-vor-o-nok.

I am at my best in the early evening, and with tasty food and drink, it’s my most alert time of day.

This incident got me thinking about being understood in Russian.

Russian is a front articulation, mouth-mostly-closed language.  However, it is back-mouth-resonated just before the throat.

Russian is usually formed in the mouth front , with the jaws relaxed, the lips mostly closed.  Look on Russian TV and you’ll see a lot of lower teeth.

English is one of many middle resonance languages, spoken as if you have a hot potato in your mouth.  American speakers are relatively toothy.

So it isn’t enough to have good enunciation.  To be understood well, you need to hold you mouth the right way for the language you are attempting, and remember where to resonate it!

Maybe I was sleepy when I saw the nurse, forgetting to speak like a Russian.  Speaking with a hot potato in my mouth may have gotten us in hot water!

Yalki Palki ... the list continues!

Using Russian can be fun, especially when you say an unexpected word that isn’t in standard Russian textbooks.  For the first Yalki Palki list,  just click here.

Cyrllic Russian............................... Pronounced... Means...

милый мой !.................................. Мeely moy............ My little one.

мамула.......................................... Ma-mu-la............... Mom.

ух ты!............................................. Uuk Tee!................ Surprised. 

ау! ау!............................................  A-oo!  A-oo!...........Calling  from afar.

перепутал.....................................  Pe-ri-pu-tal..... ..... Mixed up. 

потихоньку.................................... Po- tee-hun-ky.......Taking it carefully.

нахал.............................................. Na-haal..................Takes more than expected.

приступнык.................................... Pree-stoop-nick....Criminal suspect.

чёрт................................................ Chort  .....................The devil!  Damn!

вот так........................................... Vut tak...................That’s life.

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Comments very welcome!

What are your thoughts on praise and criticism, languages sounding, and our Yalki-Palki List ?  Just click comments on the next to last line.

Clickable Articles...

How to say hello

How to speak fake Russian

The top secret of talking like an American

 

Technorati Tags: language mouth resonance,front mouth languages,middle mouth languages,dental languages,Hot Potato enunciation,yalki-palki.

Learning Russian is a bear! Part 1. Six Tips for language success.

 

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Previous Learning Russian Posts. Learn Russian in Only Nine Years  23 March 2009. An Expatriate Learns Russian in St Petersburg 12 Nov 2009

Tip 1...  Take seriously how you pronounce your first language.

In 1949, my older sister Mary told Mom that the big boys mocked me when we walked home from Tuscan Grammar School.

“What’s your name?”  Wobbie.  “Say black.”  B-waak.

Mrs. Carrigan, our next door neighbor and my first grade teacher, suggested speech therapy, but Mom refused, thinking it would  stigmatize me.  This was a mistake. When a problem is identified it’s better to face it and solve it!

Stymied grammar learning...

Tip 2... Know and use grammar carefully in your native language.

In 1955 I landed in Mr. Hamlin’s Introductory French.  I had trouble enunciating French, but I still remember Monsieur Hamlin was the great-grandson of Lincoln’s first vice president!

That same eighth grade year Mr. Arens gave me poor grades in English grammar.  Mom undercut this teacher’s efforts, huffy that such a man as he could judge a British boy’s English.  More a dreamer than a serious student, I missed my opportunity to establish a firm  language foundation. 1

1 This parent/teacher conflict made me uncomfortable as I knew I deserved the low grades.  Years later I read that this intelligent enthusiastic teacher drowned while swimming off the coast of Israel.

“Maybe you’ll do better in Spanish.”

Tip 3...  Insist teachers provide knowledge and skills you will need for future success.

After a one year break from foreign language study, I enrolled in Mrs. Ahearn’s high school Spanish class in 1957.  I got off to a poor start, trying to learn the basic Spanish grammar I needed while at the same time learning Spanish.

Meanwhile, three years of high school English were at times interesting but didn’t emphasis grammar and written expression.

My turning point in college...

Tip 4... Jump in, and start enjoying your new language!

I enrolled in Señor Torres’ Spanish class as a Duke freshman in 1960.  After miserable grades, the second semester was a turning point!  Señor Torres announced in class... ‘All students are welcome  Tuesday nights on the Woman’s Campus at a Spanish Table, where only Spanish is spoken.’

What a surprise to realize I could yammer just in Spanish'... about my two loves... food and flirting!  Señor Torres viewed me differently from then on, and offered to drop me off on West Campus on his way home.  I valued our conversation while riding in his old Mercedes, getting to know him as a man living away from the Spain he loved , making do while Franco stayed in power.

A French Calamity and likely Murder!

Tip 5... Be wary of taking on too much.

My Aunt Isobel lived in France since the 1930s leading an unconventional life, doing translations, and other work allowed to non-French citizen. She survived capture, boxcars, and prison.  I would be the first family member to see her since before the war. 

With Paris in mind, I enrolled in a rigorous French class my last year at Duke in the fall of 1963.

I should have audited the class so as to not endanger my grade point average.

Monsier Cordier hated my New Jersey mumbles, and selected me as his class target. He said en français through a cloud of smoke from his eternal cigarette, 1 “I have a friend that speaks just like you. I wonder if he is still in jail.”

1 So long ago in 1963, it may surprise some readers that Duke University, endowed by a tobacco family, encouraged smoking in class... but didn’t allow any Black undergraduates.

When I got my postcard returned with an F (fail) for the semester, I went to his office in the Duke Chapel tower.

He said I did better on the final exam than he expected... but still below passing. He was smoking his Gauloise, standing near an opened vertical  Gothic window.

Joyful murder flashed before my eyes! I moved towards him, getting ready to lunge and push!  Suddenly the mad feeling left ... saving me from a probable 5 – 10 in a Carolina jail.

My adult life with French and Spanish...

Tip 6... Use new languages to open a more interesting world!

After graduation in August 1964, two friends and I drove across America to Mexico to spend three weeks in the classic San Angel neighborhood of Mexico City with a charming family.  We ageed to speak no English once we crossed into Mexico.  I started to think some things in Spanish within a week!

In the summers of ‘65 and ‘66 I travelled through Europe, using basic French to communicate in Sweden with a Greek roommate, and speaking French and Spanish all the way to Gibraltar.

The population of Spanish speaking immigrants grew quickly in the 90s, even in western Jersey.  By 2000, I was talking Spanish here and there around town.

Next Learning Russian Post...

How I tackled the Russia language, with more specific tips and advice.

Consider participating with a Comment, just below.

 Are these tips on target?  Do you have a few others?  How much does natural ability affect language learning? 

 

Technorati Tags: pronunciation,syllabification,grammar,Gauloise,Gothic.

An Expatriate Learns Russian in St Petersburg

The second in a series 
Click here to read "Learn Russian in Only Nine Years" posted on    
23 March 2009.
                           
Learning a language is a good template for learning almost anything, as the basic rules and tips apply.

My best recommendation for you!

LiveMocha will give you free interactive learning for 30 languages! 

A Marinsky Mistake... a true story.

Shortly after our arrival in St Petersburg Larissa got inexpensive tickets for the Marinsky Theatre.  I was an official resident of St Petersburg, but we knew that the ladies who staffed the lines liked to spot foreigners, and then insist they pay much higher ticket prices. 

Larissa told me to keep quiet and follow her quickly through the admittance checkpoint.  I have learned since then that Russian clothes and a serious face do not hide my pre-Baltic, actually
Scottish, looks.  One of the women triumphantly yelled across to stop, and she accused me of being a tourist!

Well, I wasn't... So I answered loudly (meaning to say in Russian, I am not a tourist)... Я терорист! (I am a terrorist!)

That mistake caused a small commotion, all because I was flustered and angry.  So, be careful to say what you think, speak slowly, and enunciate syllable by syllable.

The Total Immersion Method of Language Learning...

Splish Splash, I was takin' a bath, Long about a Saturday night...            Lyrics by Bobby Darin and Murray the K Kaufman

After nine years of the Russian bath, it's just starting to work.  Why so slow? 

My excellent wife in the first years spoke a lot of English so I wouldn't feel isolated.  Now she speaks more Russian.  I understand, but answer in English.  We talk Russian when on the bus.

If your wife and friends here only speak Russian, this immersion method of learning will work  more quickly.  But we all have interests besides learning a language.  I feel the need to use English part of every day reading novels, chatting, and on the Internet.

Language learning CV

I began studying Russian a few months before we left America.  I was 57... old to learn new tricks,  and had a history of  trouble learning languages... French with Mr. Hamlin in 8th grade at Maplewood Junior High School, NJ,, two years of Spanish with Mrs. Ahearn at Columbia Senior High School, three years of Spanish with Senor Torres and another professor who had a much better figure than Senor Torres, and one semester of French with Dr. Cordell, all at Duke University.  The result of all this erudition was  a good understanding of grammar, which I applied to English, and the confidence to speak Spanish with immigrants in the years before we left.

Disabilities slow language learning down...

My hearing isn't acute ... perhaps as a result of a diving accident and just getting older, and my memory is weaker...maybe from the pump dump of open heart surgery and again just getting older.  Well, I make the best of what remains and enjoy life.

The Russian attitude towards learning is different from that of Americans...

I have a typical can-do American attitude that with enthusiasm I can accomplish whatever is necessary, maybe not so well, but good enough.  Russians view this attitude as vexatious, as they
don't believe you should set out to do something unless you can achieve something close to perfection in the field.  To learn something so-so just because it is useful or fun sounds strange to of them.

Learning how to Yolki-Palki!

Every language learner is comfortable using his new language only to the level he has attained. But if you want to sound like you know more, or want to get a laugh from your Russian friends, my advice is to add a few unexpected phrases to your conversation.  Here are the famous Yolki-Palki Tips!

When something goes wrong and people are upset... say ёлки-лалки yolki-palki, with surprise and aggravation.

Another good phrase is кошмар kash mar... Yeh, it's awful.

When you are talking with your wife's friends, it makes them happy if you look at one and say, какая женщина ka-ki-a jen-sin-a... What a woman!

Any use of пива peeva beer... will often get a smile.

If you want the protection or help of God, say дай бог di bogg... Give me, God.

If someone complains about the aches and pains of getting older, or you show signs of aging, say старость не радость starost knee radoct... Being old isn't so happy.

Say пока пока pa-ka, pa-ka, goodbye, goodbye... which will remind people of the song sung by Alla Pugachova, the Estrada singing great.

вот это да! vut eta da... This is yes!  What Russians say when something long searched for is found, or something broken is finally fixed.  People are just naturally happy to hear this phrase.

If you shoot a jigger of vodka and place the glass with force on the table, it's comical to hear an American or Brit exclaim... Я Русский! Ya Russki... I am Russian!
 
Once we were riding in a trolley that was hit by a car with a few people apparently filled  with  alcohol.  The passenger got out and look at the damage and said интересно! in ter es na... Interesting.  Said the right way it can say a lot.

Я сильный американец Ya ceelnee amereekanits, I am a strong American... Russians think they can withstand pain better than other people, so in Russia I have learned it is most satisfying to show no effects of pain, but rather say this phrase.  It brings a smile to serious people and helps you bear the pain of a blood draw or shot.

On the tram it's crowded and too hot.  You see several schoolniks seated while some babulas are standing.  Gesture with open hand facing up and wave towards the schoolniki and back to the old ladies.  One student stands up and gives his seat.  You can say to him, молодец! molodetz  Good guy!

When there is something surprising, or distressing, you can exclaim ой ёй ёй, ooe, yoe yoe.

Notice the pronuniciation change in the second and third parts.

A few phrases such as these can add fun to whatever language you are learning and will spread some positive emotion.  Give some a try and let us know if they worked for you!

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Learn Russian in Only Nine Years!

Russian friends often ask how Larissa and I communicate. This question is hard to answer as sometimes our talk at home is strange. Let me tell you about that confusion, and also about Larissa's efforts, and mine, to get me up to speed in Russian.

Often when we are home , I speak English and Larissa speaks Russian in reply. Or it can be the reverse, or we use one language for a while. If we have a Russian visitor, we keep to Русски... if the visitor is English speaking, we speak American English. If it's mixed company we use Русски.

We still have misunderstandings. Often they are solved by examining what we thought the other person said. At other times things can sound not right to a non-native speaker... such as saying when instead of enough when someone is pouring tea for you. I like the double entendre in when, while Larissa thinks it's stupid.

Now it's sometimes easier to remember a noun in the second language than the first. I use Russian nouns more than any other parts of speech.

We had a third language at the beginning. This was when, for example, Larissa said something in English and I thought it was a Russian word I hadn't heard before. I would add it to my Russian until we eventually discovered that it was just a mispronounced English word. The reverse happened, too. Sort of a crazy mirror within a mirror.

While still in the States as a Jersey Guy, I started my Russian study with an alphabet and consonant blend book that Larissa's mom sent. The sounds were foreign for an English speaker, so I needed daily review.

A few months later in early June 2000 we landed in St Petersburg. After getting settled, we started working through Жили-были [Jeely-Beely 28 Lessons], which is an excellent basic text with great cartoons. [Жилт-Былт means something like Once Upon a Time...] At this point I started to realize that Russian was going to take some years to learn to understand and speak.

Russian is rated as more difficult than German but easier than Chinese. A lot depends on your ability in languages, how similar your native language is to the Slavic family, and how consistently you study. Classic literature, the internet, and now blogging often distract me from learning at a quicker pace.

My Text Recommendations

The first is a thin volume with a great title... I Know and Love Russian Verbs by Krevonosov and Redkena. The second is 500 Russian Verbs, by the dean of the Russian School at Middlebury College, Thomas Beyer. Finally, my favorite, and one I still study, has two titles...  Speak Properly (Russian title) and Survival Russian (English title). Looks like the publisher wants to hit both the Russian and American markets! This last text has an optional CD but if you are lucky enough to have a Russian wife, she will help your pronunciation more than any recording!

In the summer months of June, July, and August, we live next to a lake connected to the Volga. It's rural life at its best! With no internet or telephone and few people who speak any English, each summer has been a great opportunity to improve my Russian. My summer friends are my neighbors in the small village, along with the workers who come from the surrounding towns, the Ukraine, and Azerbaijan. In June I look forward to applying my progress in Russian since last August, and in having some great conversations and improving my language skills.

So after 9 years of intermittent, sometimes haphazard and other times enthusiastic study, where am I now? I am happy to say I can now initiate a conversation and understand much of what I hear on the street and on TV. 

The hardest aspect of Russian for me to understand is padejay, the rules on changing subject and object word endings.  I let a formal study of this alone after much frustration, and moved on to verbs.  I hope osmosis will eventually help me apply padejay correctly.


So... if you have 9 years to spare, consider tackling Russian!